


the soft phrase of peace

by johnllauren



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, my soft boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnllauren/pseuds/johnllauren
Summary: Perhaps giving Gansey a spare key to his apartment was a bad idea. Of course, Adam had meant it as a gesture of “you’re the person I trust the most in this world, so keep this in case of emergency.” He had not intended it to be used just because he’d gone some hours without answering a text.Or, Gansey comforts Adam after a panic attack





	the soft phrase of peace

**Author's Note:**

> i decided i needed gansey to comfort adam so here this is
> 
> title from othello

Perhaps giving Gansey a spare key to his apartment was a bad idea. Of course, Adam had meant it as a gesture of “you’re the person I trust the most in this world, so keep this in case of emergency.” He had not intended it to be used just because he’d gone some hours without answering a text. 

“Adam?” Gansey calls upon stepping into the apartment, and the only thing Adam can think is _fuck._

Adam is in his room with the door closed and the lights off, but it’s only a matter of time until Gansey finds him. His apartment is barely even a studio. 

“Adam, honey, are you okay?” 

_Honey._ Gansey’s nervous. 

Adam decides to speak up before Gansey starts thinking he’s dead. “Leave me alone, Gansey.” His voice sounds a lot more strained than he intended it to be. 

“ _Adam._ ” Gansey says, opening the door to Adam’s room softly. Adam doesn’t try to protest. 

“Love, what’s wrong?” Gansey asks, stepping closer and kneeling in front of Adam, who’s sitting in the corner, his head on his knees. 

Gansey’s never seen him cry, but Adam can’t exactly compose himself now, not when Gansey’s four inches away from his face. So Adam looks up and meets Gansey’s eyes, trying not to care that his face is red and his eyes are bloodshot and there are tear tracks down his face. Gansey looks at him with such concern that Adam feels bad. 

Gansey opens his arms. “Can I…?” he doesn’t finish the question. 

Without hesitating or second-guessing himself, Adam leans into Gansey’s touch, letting Gansey hold him. Gansey’s surprised at how upfront he is, but responds almost instantly, pulling Adam closer and wrapping his arms around him. Gansey adjusts himself so that he’s sitting, pulling Adam into his lap. Adam fits perfectly, almost like they’ve rehearsed it before, his frame still noticeably small from lack of three square meals a day tucked into Gansey’s buff-yet-pudgy tall body. Adam buries his head into the crook of Gansey’s neck, probably getting his too-expensive polo wet with tears, but that’s something he’ll worry about later. 

“Adam, baby, what’s wrong?” Gansey asks, his voice soft and loving. He won’t hurt Adam, he won’t do anything to Adam, Adam is safe. 

Adam shudders and Gansey rubs his back and Gansey is all softness and caring and he smells like comfort. “Panic attack,” he mutters quietly, like Gansey could ignore it if he wanted. 

“I’m sorry,” Gansey replies, still soft, rubbing his back. 

Adam’s never done this, never exposed his vulnerability to Gansey, never showed him what the aftermath of a panic attack looked like. He feels weak and ashamed and now he knows Gansey’s got something to use against him, but there’s something about Gansey being here, Gansey _holding him,_ Gansey’s comfort, that makes him forget about all of his distrust. 

Gansey doesn’t move until Adam stops crying. After the crying comes the shaking, and Adam’s afraid that he’s going to scare Gansey away. But Gansey doesn’t flinch. Instead he holds Adam tighter. Adam moves his arms and wraps them around Gansey in return, his grip weak and shaky. Gansey moves to the side, slowly rocking them back and forth. He finds a rhythm quickly, and the movement is soothing. 

“Is this okay?” He asks Adam, cautious. 

“Yeah.” Adam responds, nodding. His voice sounds better now, and Gansey keeps  
rocking them. 

Adam doesn’t stop shaking, but eventually he lifts his head out of the crook of Gansey’s neck and rests it on his shoulder. Gansey looks down at him and smiles. 

“Hi,” he says, brushing Adam’s hair out of his face. 

“Hi.” Adam replies. “Sorry.” 

Gansey doesn’t even entertain the idea of Adam being sorry. “Don’t be. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I made you worried and then you had to deal with me-” 

“Adam.” Gansey interrupts. “I was worried because I care about you. And I don’t _deal_ with you. Everything I do with you is something I _want_ to do. Trust me, Adam, I’d much rather be here with you right now than know you went through this alone.” 

“Okay.” Adam replies, not sure if Gansey’s telling the truth. 

Gansey kisses the top of his head. “Let yourself be vulnerable.” 

“Okay.” Adam says again. He sounds more confident now. 

“Can I get you some water, love?” Gansey asks him. 

“Yeah.” 

Gansey moves to get up and get Adam off his lap, and Adam clings on tighter. “No no Gansey please stay Gansey _please._ ” 

He’s taken aback by Adam abruptly stating what he wants - or maybe he’s more surprised by the fact that Adam wants _him._ “Okay. Okay, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Thank you.” Adam says. “There’s - there’s a glass of water on the desk. I’ll drink that.” 

Gansey tries to slide Adam off his lap to get the water. “Please don’t let go.” Adam practically whimpers. 

“Can I lift you up?” Gansey asks. 

Adam nods, and clings closer to Gansey. Gansey stands, maneuvering them so he’s practically cradling Adam. Adam wraps his arms around Gansey’s neck, and he can feel the softness of Gansey’s arms and the muscles underneath them. Gansey walks over to Adam’s bed and sets him down easily before reaching for the water glass. Adam sits up somewhat painstakingly and reaches out for the glass with a very shaky hand. Gansey shakes his head. 

“I don’t want you to spill.” Gansey comments, and he holds the water up to Adam’s mouth. Adam drinks slowly, pulling away when he’s done. 

Gansey smiles and sets the glass down. He hesitates, and it’s strange seeing Gansey unsure of himself like this, the way he shifts in his polo and looks down cautiously for a few seconds until Adam speaks. 

“Stay.” he says, placing his hand next to him on the bed. “I… please.” 

Gansey nods. “Okay.” He sits down next to Adam, extending his arms again as Adam slides into them. 

“Thank you.” Adam says. 

“Of course.” Gansey replies, and it’s not the way he usually accepts thanks, with blue blood dripping from his lips, it’s genuine, and it still makes Adam’s heart flutter. 

“Do you need anything?” Gansey asks. 

“You,” Adam replies, and it’s the most upfront he’s ever been. 

Gansey lies down on Adam’s bed, Adam next to him. He rests his head on Adam’s pillow, and Adam rests his on Gansey’s chest. Gansey wraps his arms around Adam, and Adam curls into him, sighing gently. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gansey murmurs into his hair.

“No.” Adam replies. He yawns. 

Gansey kisses his forehead. “Go to sleep.” He says. 

“Are you sure?” Adam asks, nervous. He doesn’t want to trap Gansey here. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Okay.” Adam practically whispers, already letting himself slip into sleep. 

Gansey cards his hands through Adam’s hair until he falls asleep too.


End file.
